Anything worth doing is worth doing skillfully. And in round two of my editing process, I am all about skill. Lots and lots of skill. If you’re just starting out, this round may feel a bit daunting for you. My suggestion for the newbies is to take the editing process one step at a time. It’s easy to get hung up on perfecting a stubborn sentence, so strategy is key here.

As you grow as a writer, you’ll develop the ability to take on multiple editing tasks as you go. But putting first things first will save time and heartache in the long run. Below, I’ve listed seven elements to work through while editing your short story.

You’ll want to peg down 1-3 first before getting too deep into sentence structures. No sense spending hours perfecting a sentence if the voice is all wrong and you end up deleting it anyway. I recommend following the order, but again, as you grow in skill, you’ll be able to do many of these things simultaneously or in a different order.

#1 Voice

A compelling voice is often the difference between a good story and a great one. The tone of your story, and the characters within them, should all have very distinct notes. And those notes should remain consistent as you tell your tale.

There are a few tools and strategies I like to use to help me get the voice just right.

Visuals

There are millions of characters from books, tv, and movies to inspire a character’s look. Whether you use an exact description, or just garner inspiration from a character, is really up to you. What matters most is consistency. If your character is inspired by Jason Statham’s performance in Transporter, then keep that scruffy, desperate, edgy picture in your head the whole way through. It really helps to develop scenes and interactive dialogue.

Maybe your character always looks disheveled, or walks with a distinctive limp or gait. How would those things affect their speech patterns and physical mannerisms? A real picture of your character will help make your character real to you. Which will help you develop that character in a way that is real for your readers.

Voiceovers

Maybe your character looks like Jason Statham, but sounds more like Sylvester Stallone. It’s an odd pairing, I know. But stay with me here.

There are certain ways Rocky Balboa speaks. He uses double negatives, may be a little slow on the uptake, and his vocabulary isn’t super advanced. Channel that into your character. You don’t have to use dialect, but you can choose certain words to make your character’s manner of speech distinctive.

In this story, my character is an academic, so her vocabulary and thought are equally elevated. She’s also been raised to respect her elders, so she uses phrases like ma’am and sir.

Narrator

Inconsistent voice sucks away your story’s impact. Using a narrator tool will help you so, so much. Narrator picks up on the words we thought we wrote but didn’t, but it also helps us to catch those subtle shifts in language, like when the character slips from King’s English to deep-fried southern slang. Okay, so not so subtle here, but I think you get my point.

# 2 Thematic Elements

As I went through my first draft, I noticed that the story’s driving theme (that everyone is counting on her and everything is on her shoulders) seemed weak. So I read through it again, noting places where I could potentially insert a thought, or reword a statement to emphasize that theme and really drive it home.

I originally wrote this sentence:

He laughed, then added a pair of lollipops to my chips and water. “Want you to know we’re all rooting for you.”

But in order to insert the thematic element, I made a few subtle changes:

He added a pair of lollipops to my chips and water. “Some say you don’t stand a chance, but they said the same when I opened this store fifty years ago.” He winked. “Make us proud, and prove ‘em wrong.”

#3 Pacing

Pacing is an art form blended with skill. Stories have rhythm and need balance. Too much tension for too long can ruin a story’s pacing just as much as a long run of exposition. If you’ve been following the short story series, you’ll notice that in my articles on Piecing the Story Together, I structured the story very intentionally – beginning with the inciting incident and setup, then continuing with the rising action, climax, falling action, and resolution.

Plot out your story with an intentional structure for maximum impact. Jokes land well when the setup and timing are just right. The same is true for stories in all forms.

I think the best way to improve pacing is to read great books and practice your craft. There’s no silver bullet, just hard work and determination, but I do have a few tips for pacing in a short story:

Get to your points quickly.

In a long form story, it’s perfectly acceptable to ease into your story at a slow and steady pace, then build up to a riveting climax. But in short stories, there just isn’t enough time. A slow build often leads to a rushed ending, so don’t try to leave your story themes up in the air until the very last moment. Make your point, then support and reinforce it with repetition, which can be a combination of repeated phrases, thoughts, or ideas.

For example:

Amy begins with informing the reader that she is determined, and says “you name it, I won it.” She can’t fail. She never has. That theme is supported by her successful placement in the spring musical, then again when she confidently takes her Spanish test. It’s supported by the pride of the people in her neighborhood. She repeats the theme when she tells her Spanish teacher she “can’t afford a C.” The pressure mounts as she continues to spiral, and the weight of the expectations she and others have placed on her becomes more apparent as she says over and over “I’m good.” She puts on a brave face. She can’t accept failure. She can’t back down or admit defeat.

Jump right into the conflict.

Don’t make readers wait for something to happen. A little introduction is okay, but if you’re at the midway point and the story’s central conflict hasn’t presented itself yet, you’re moving too slowly.

Make a lot of cuts.

Write everything you can think of in the first draft, (unless you’re on a time limit). Explore all those themes and angles floating around in your head and dream big dreams. But only in the first draft.

If you’re doing it right, many of your ideas aren’t going to make it into the final draft. Don’t hold on to any one idea too tightly. Pick the strongest themes and run with them. If you try to develop all of them in the editing round, your short story will quickly lose focus, which is the opposite of what you should be doing in this round. Don’t be afraid to cut your favorite lines. Sometimes they just don’t serve the story. It’s hard, but you can do it!

In this short story, Amy has an ex-best friend, Candace. I really wanted to develop this idea in the story, but since I already have Sasha as a negative factor, it’s not necessary, and it really only crowds the story if I try to insert too many details. I also had to cut out the missing dad. He isn’t even mentioned in the second version.

Cutting out loose threads and underdeveloped themes and plot points will help your reader focus on the main idea of the story and come away from it with a clear understanding of the message you are trying to convey. If you follow these tips, your pacing should be on point.

After mastering some of these skills, you’ll find ways to incorporate additional themes and ideas without compromising pacing. And that’s the beauty of writing. It is a craft you develop over time. Some things can be done very well, but only with practice. So keep practicing, and push at your limits whenever you get the chance.

#4 Flow

Similar to pacing, flow relies very heavily on balance and rhythm. Narrator is your friend when pinpointing flaws in the flow of your story, but there are a few areas you can pick out right away:

Exposition

Large chunks of exposition and description are huge offenders. So are info dumps. If your character mentally explains why something or someone exists in between dialogue, for example, that can stymie your flow.

Grammar and Mechanics

Poor grammar is another flow stopper, as is tense switching. Sometimes sentences are grammatically correct but logically wrong, so if you trip up reading them, odds are, so will everyone else. Watch out for long sentences, too. You can often cut them down or break them up.

Dialogue

Balance is key in dialogue. Mix your dialogue with movement for more engaging interactions. If you have two characters going back and forth with no movement, it can get a bit taxing after a while for the reader. But too much movement is distracting. An action tag after every dialogue line is probably as unnecessary as the adverb “probably.”

Speaking of adverbs . . .

#5 Adverbs, Fillers, and More

Adverbs

You can use spell check, Grammarly, or whatever editing tools are available to you to pinpoint many of the issues I’m discussing next, but these tools don’t catch everything. Adverbs are a cardinal sin in the publishing world, and we are told over and over to use them sparingly, or better yet, not at all. I love a well-placed adverb, and I think in children’s fiction they are quite useful, but rules are rules. Thin out the adverbs. *Sighs.*

Fillers and Passive Sentences

Fillers and passive sentences are an extraction job you’ll have to train yourself for. I think examples are in order.

Change this sentence full of unnecessary phrases:

I clenched the paper in my fist and glared at her. But the other students in Study Hall were watching. I softened my gaze and stood. Confronting Sasha was a waste of time.

To this:

I clenched my paper and glared at her. But the other students in Study Hall were watching, and confronting Sasha was a waste of time.

Filter out passive words like was, could, might, would and so on (there are lists out there) as often as you can. This is a difficult skill to master, especially if you’re an overthinker or conspiracy theorist, or just afraid to commit.

“This sentence doesn’t make sense” sounds so assertive and confident. “This sentence might not make sense” sounds gentle and leaves room for debate. But you don’t want your reader debating every line. Be assertive and persuasive.

#6 First and last lines

Once the meat of the story is well focused and fine tuned, you can move to the marketing side of things. Hooks and draws and lasting impressions are the goal here. You really want the first line to draw the reader in. I’ll give you a few examples from some of my award winning pieces, because (shameless plug) I’m very proud of them. But also, reading examples of great opening lines is how I learned to write great opening lines.

Avaleen McDowell needed a vacation.

“Take Me Away” 1^st Place WCPL Short Story Contest Winner 2021

The earth sighed seven times.

“The Earth Sighed Seven Times” 1^st Place theProse Challenge of the Month Winner October 2019

Grandma said she could always spot a scoundrel.

“The Shifter” 6^th Place Writers Digest Annual Writing Competition 2022

First lines are your way of hooking the reader. Offer some insight or intrigue, or set the tone of your story with a compelling first line.

Last lines are the final thoughts you leave with the reader. When the story’s done, what do you want to linger in the reader’s mind? There should be some tie-in to the first line or the story’s theme.

After a few rounds of editing, these are the first and last lines for my short story:

First Line

This was my moment.

Last Line

This could have been my moment. Should have been my moment.

But I missed it.

I think I’m getting closer. In the polishing stage, I’ll circle back to these lines and tweak them as needed.

#7 Word Count

You’ve got some wiggle room on word count, unless you’re submitting to a publication with restrictions. In that case, I’ve got some tips for shaving off a few extra words. As written, my first draft is roughly 562 words beyond my initial 1000 word goal. Seems like a lot, right? But after my big picture edits and craft revisions, the word count dropped to 992. So here are a few tips for getting below that word count.

Say less.

Pretty obvious, right? But if you can do without a sentence or phrase, cut it.

I stood in front of Ms. Gomez’s desk, test in hand, head lowered.

I removed “head lowered,” and if my word count still needs help, I’ll remove “test in hand” as well.

Every day began at four, and I usually got home by six, earlier on the days I didn’t have after school activities.

I can remove this whole sentence, if necessary. It isn’t essential to the story.

Replace phrases with synonymous words.

I was the first African American cheer captain for my high school last year.

“African American” can be replaced with “black” in this example.

Get rid of action tags, dialogue tags, and unnecessary name tags whenever possible.

I smiled at him. Mom must have been running her mouth. “Yes sir, I did.”

“That’s our girl!” she shouted.

“Grades aren’t everything, Amy.

This is probably one of the longest articles I’ve posted on craft, and it’s because the editing phase takes quite a bit of work. There’s a lot to unpack here, and it will take a few rounds of revisions to get it right, but once you’ve gone through all of these elements, you’ll have a much better story in the end.

When you’ve finished, give yourself some space from the story so you can come back to it with fresh eyes. In the next part of the series, I’ll discuss polishing your final draft. We’re almost there. Keep at it.

That’s my Write or Die Advice. Happy Crafting.