My Top 3 Self-Sabotaging Habits As A Writer
Let me let you in on a little secret. I have a ton of bad habits as a writer. It took me years to stop putting double spaces in front of sentences. I use raised eyebrows and shrugs obsessively. And I love adverbs, obviously. I get action tags and dialogue tags mixed up. My characters often get away from me. But these bad habits are easy to fix with skill and practice. Some habits are more devious. They’re a byproduct of my human nature, and left unchecked, they really throw a wrench in my writing progress. I have more than three of these, mind you. But these are the self-sabotaging habits I find myself circling back to most often.
#1 Laziness
This is a big one. When a story is in my head, it’s grand and magical and perfect. But extracting the story takes a lot of work. And sometimes, I just don’t want to do the work. One of my biggest challenges when I write is developing a proper setting. I’m not a super observant person when it comes to surroundings, and that is reflected in my writing. I care about the characters and their feelings and that’s pretty much it. But I have context without realizing it, because I already know everything about my story. I see it all in my head.
It’s not the same for readers. I have to create context for them. And establishing a proper setting requires a ton of research and creative brain power. It’s easier to just do the fun parts of writing and skip that boring stuff.
Laziness often manifests as procrastination. I say to myself, “I’ll get around to it later.” But then, I don’t. And lazy writing shows. If my characters live in the desert and it’s always raining, that’s just sloppy.
As a personal example, I’m working on a story that takes place in East Africa. Many people have never been there and have no context for the setting. Not unless I put it in the story. They’ll know by the way the characters speak that they aren’t from the US, or the west in general, but without some worldbuilding, my readers are lost. But researching that part of the world is so much work. Language, clothing, customs, trade, weather patterns, religion, the list goes on. And I just don’t wanna.
#2 Distraction
This is an easy habit to fall into, and one I haven’t fully figured out just yet. There are the regular distractions that come with my life by way of responsibility – to my family, my friends, my stuff. But there’s so much more. I can easily waste an hour watching video clips. What starts out as a quick email check can turn into a web surfing session with nothing substantial to show for it.
And there’s so much good television right now. I’m partial to K-Dramas at the moment, and now that binge-watching is as easy as pressing a button (or just not pressing a button), I can lose entire weekends to television. But where do those hours go? And what do I have to show for it? The void, and, nothing.
#3 Self-Doubt
The writer’s spiral is inevitable. For me, it’s a very difficult one to extract myself from. Especially if I linger too long. Writing blues can really take me down. Maybe I’ve lost motivation for a project. Maybe it’s been months since I heard back from any agents I queried. Maybe I suffered a devastating loss in a writing contest. Whatever the reasons, when self-doubt creeps in, it’s hard to look past it.
My writing is trash. No one will ever read this.
I’m writing into the void. This is pointless.
I’m not good enough.
Any of this sound familiar? It’s the worst. Especially if I start comparing myself to other writers. Brandon Sanderson’s worldbuilding is amazing. Literally, worlds above my skillset. He’s out there smashing records and pushing out epic fantasies.
But you know what? There are still people who don’t like his writing style. Or the fantasy genre in general. And he didn’t start out that way. He worked really hard to get where he is now. So here are three practices I use to help me work my way out of my self-sabotaging habits.
#1 Self-Discipline
I don’t punish myself for having bad habits, but I have established some writing boundaries to help me avoid the pitfalls of laziness. Self-discipline means establishing a set time for writing and sticking to it. It also means letting the people around me know that it’s my time, which can be really hard when you’ve got needy little people begging for attention. My children are old enough to understand, on some level, that unless it’s an emergency, they’ll have to wait. But now that they’re in school, I’ve adjusted my writing schedule in order to avoid most of those conflicts. So, more often, I’m having that conversation with the laundry.
#2 Redirection
In this digital age, distraction is inevitable. But redirection is a useful tool that gives me the best of both worlds. If I’m surfing the web, instead of looking at random stuff, I research places with similar settings to my stories. I read news articles, learn about customs and festivals, check ticket prices if it’s feasible to take a trip there (it’s usually not, but I try).
The same goes for shows and videos. The goal is to not leave that time of idleness empty-handed. If I’m working on a crime drama, as far as I’m concerned, CSI is field research (haha). It’s not a perfect science, but I’ve found this method more useful than banning myself from media channels. So long as I’m sticking to my writing schedule, my idle time is simply a matter of balance.
#3 Acceptance
While it would be nice, I may never be a worldwide bestselling author. Or maybe I will, just not right now. And, that’s okay. I’ve come to accept where I am on my writing journey and allow myself to enjoy it. I’m learning so much about the craft, and that’s exciting to me. I’m making friends and helping other writers on their journey, and I’m having a lot of fun doing it. It’s true that comparison is the thief of joy. I’m learning not to compare where I am with where anyone else may be. It’s both humbling and liberating. And I can’t overstate this: it is a process.
Self-sabotage is a debilitating, and often cyclical, pattern. You doubt yourself, you set yourself up for failure, you fail. So you doubt yourself, and on the cycle goes. But practicing good habits to counter those self-sabotaging ones will yield good results if you stick with it. And remember, this is your writing journey, and no one can take that from you. Except you.
That’s my Write or Die Advice. Happy practicing.